Till 30 mins back, I never had an intention of writing this blog.
But why now? I was severely thinking of quitting/controlling my very bad habit of drinking alcohol. This is because i have a series of bad incidents throughout my life because of alcohol which i want to forget but i couldn't. After my marriage, I went to my brother-in-law's company anniversary party and gone unconscious due to high alcohol consumption. Finally they put me in a taxi and made me slept in my friend house. That's my shameful incident of my life.
Did I quit after that? Nah! It continued. I was in Chennai that time so we had party once in a month. At least that okay.
After I came to US, this bad behavior became my UGLIEST behavior of my life. Used to drink almost everyday when I was staying single. My US friends and their family know me very well as alcoholic then.
Esp Friday evening is always set for drinks.
My family came to US. Beautiful and Friendly wife, cute son. She didn't fight me for quitting drinking thinking that i would be in control and not alcoholic. She wasn't aware that i actually became alcoholic after i came to US. In fact i also didn't realize myself.
She allowed me having drinks once in a week. That was the time i started taking advantage of this 'permission' to consume more alcohol. Well it went on for more than a year and my wife was pregnant again! To help us during the time, my in-law came to US. I was thinking that i should stop drinking alcohol at least when she is here. I thought myself okay its time to live non-alcohol life for 3 months.
Did I stop for 3 months!? Nah! After 2 weeks of her arrival, I couldn't control and went out for drinks and came late to home. Even though my wife knows this, she didn't expose this to her mom. After couple of weeks, i dared to had drinks at home after they slept in another room. What a shameful and uncontrollable habit.
Last night as usual i had 600 ml vodka with redbull and slept around 5:30 am. Today morning my wife warned me for this behavior and she worried that her mom also might be aware of this.
Should I still be drinking?
Why not? If i'm gentle drinker, there will not be any problem at all, but If i start drinking, I'll also go for high. I couldn't say NO to myself even for drinking also.
What did I do to control drinks? Tried various things, concentrate reading, going to gym, sleep early. but nothing worked out after few days.
I think I didn't have continuous 15 days without drinks in the last 3 years. Am I addict? yes and i'm trying to come out of it.
How? thinking of taking body building seriously. If I started loving my body, i'll definitely quit drinking.
Initial goal => Starting from today, i'm going to have non-alcoholic days till my family leaves to Chennai, which is 45 days from today.
Hah...who's going to read this blog anyway? I don't care...this is just my confession to unknown god/person.
UPDATE : As a start, I threw away these shits...
But why now? I was severely thinking of quitting/controlling my very bad habit of drinking alcohol. This is because i have a series of bad incidents throughout my life because of alcohol which i want to forget but i couldn't. After my marriage, I went to my brother-in-law's company anniversary party and gone unconscious due to high alcohol consumption. Finally they put me in a taxi and made me slept in my friend house. That's my shameful incident of my life.
Did I quit after that? Nah! It continued. I was in Chennai that time so we had party once in a month. At least that okay.
After I came to US, this bad behavior became my UGLIEST behavior of my life. Used to drink almost everyday when I was staying single. My US friends and their family know me very well as alcoholic then.
Esp Friday evening is always set for drinks.
My family came to US. Beautiful and Friendly wife, cute son. She didn't fight me for quitting drinking thinking that i would be in control and not alcoholic. She wasn't aware that i actually became alcoholic after i came to US. In fact i also didn't realize myself.
She allowed me having drinks once in a week. That was the time i started taking advantage of this 'permission' to consume more alcohol. Well it went on for more than a year and my wife was pregnant again! To help us during the time, my in-law came to US. I was thinking that i should stop drinking alcohol at least when she is here. I thought myself okay its time to live non-alcohol life for 3 months.
Did I stop for 3 months!? Nah! After 2 weeks of her arrival, I couldn't control and went out for drinks and came late to home. Even though my wife knows this, she didn't expose this to her mom. After couple of weeks, i dared to had drinks at home after they slept in another room. What a shameful and uncontrollable habit.
Last night as usual i had 600 ml vodka with redbull and slept around 5:30 am. Today morning my wife warned me for this behavior and she worried that her mom also might be aware of this.
Should I still be drinking?
Why not? If i'm gentle drinker, there will not be any problem at all, but If i start drinking, I'll also go for high. I couldn't say NO to myself even for drinking also.
What did I do to control drinks? Tried various things, concentrate reading, going to gym, sleep early. but nothing worked out after few days.
I think I didn't have continuous 15 days without drinks in the last 3 years. Am I addict? yes and i'm trying to come out of it.
How? thinking of taking body building seriously. If I started loving my body, i'll definitely quit drinking.
Initial goal => Starting from today, i'm going to have non-alcoholic days till my family leaves to Chennai, which is 45 days from today.
Hah...who's going to read this blog anyway? I don't care...this is just my confession to unknown god/person.
UPDATE : As a start, I threw away these shits...
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